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pinkdebster
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Name: Deb
Birthday: 11/15/1982
Gender: Female
Interests: I love babies! I love nursing and everything that goes with taking care of babies :)
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/10/2005
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| I know it's last minute, BUT if you happened to see this in the next half hour or so.... the Extreme Home makeover tonight is in Beavercreek- the next town over from us. I know quite a few people that got to go over there this summer and see things live. I'm keeping my eye out for them! I think we know some people that helped, too, but I dont want to say for sure. But I'm watching extra carefully for little glimpses of them, too.
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| Okay. I'm feeling much better. I was having trouble getting motivated to get things done, as it seems like I have extra time now. Which, maybe we do, maybe we don't. Anyways, in the time that I was not being productive, I spent extra time just being silly and enjoying the kids I have already. It made me feel so much better about everything. Not inspired enough to rake leaves when we went outside for a little while, but still. Better. I do love my kids. And they are hilarious. Danica has been talking so much more and we can understand a lot more too, so we can almost have 'normal' conversations with her. Alex has been changing his costumes about every 3 minutes since he was allowed to play with his skeleton suit (sometimes he's Spiderman) so his personality also changes every time too. Danica fell off the couch and when she came into the kitchen, I picked her up. I haven't just picked her up off the floor while standing and just hold her since March. It was the best feeling. I don't know if I'm really allowed to be doing it now either, but I did. I needed to. And she even was talking about it. It's sad that picking up my little girl was a big enough deal to talk about. We both needed it so badly though. She said something about holding her on the couch. Break my heart into a million pieces. I know I'm not strong enough to pick up Alex these days. But I might not put so much effort into not picking up Bug until the Tristan is out (I will try to be good while I recover, of course).
Anyways. We are taking a break from cloth diapers for a while, for a few reasons. I don't know if I mentioned it on here before or not. Anyways, I don't want to have a pail full of stinky diapers to deal with when I get home from the hospital. And I know that those who come to help would want to take care of things for me, but I'm kind of particular about things and it would just bug me more than anything, I think. And I'm going to need everything to be as easy as possible while living on very little sleep for a while after. Anyway. I was putting the diapers together tonight and thinking about how I might work out a system for a tiny one and one getting ready to not need them anyways. And thinking about how I'm going to have fold things so little to fit on him. Aww. And how I'm looking forward to using the covers that Danica could only use for a few weeks when we got them (when she was 13 months?). They say they start at 9 pounds. Once he's big enough to fit into them, I'll start using cloth on him as much as possible, too.
So I really am looking forward to meeting my new little guy. In my head he looks just like Alex. Alex thinks he has lots of red hair. It'll be weird if he doesn't! Mostly because Alex did. Danica's hair was old-man-bald style, but it was reddish too. I am super excited to use the Sleepy Wrap with him and actually be able to wear one of my babies for real. And I do love nursing. I'm hoping that it works out that I wont have to pump too much, if ever, and that we can soley breastfeed and not have to use bottles ever. That's what I'm hoping and Jesse is on board. We haven't bought any bottles, I still have my hand pump, so if it comes down to it, it's not too hard for him (or someone) to run and buy bottles real quick.
Okay. I could go on for a while, but I need to get to bed. I didn't want you to think that I'm just walking around depressed and frustrated all the time. I do try to keep a smile on my face most of the time! And I wanted to make it clear that I do really want to have my baby and not just be done with being pregnant. Feel free to keep praying, thank you for those of you who already are. The prayers to keep him in long enough definitely worked! Now we just have to pray that he comes out SAFELY and soon. 
Oh. People always ask what we are going to call him for short. We don't know! We really do call Alex "Small" and Danica "Bug/Buggy"etc (she wont know you are talking to her if you call her Dani, no matter how many people try) but their nicknames came after they were out for a while. And so will Tristan's. We'll call him Tristan until something else sticks for a while, too. Just don't expect it to be related to his name at all  .
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| I am feeling like it's time for me to explain some things that take up some more room than a facebook status.
I'll warn ya, this will seem kind of whiny. I'm kind of frustrated right now. sorry.
So everyone gets excited when it's time to have a baby. When you find out you are pregnant, most people assume they will go full term. Unless you've already had a preemie and your chances are lower. Well folks, today I am 37 weeks. Full term. We really were not expecting this.
Don't get me wrong. Full term is best for the baby. His chances of needing extra help with a lot of things goes down a lot and the chances of him being able to come home the same time I do (unless he has jaundice or something) go up. Which is awesome. And I am very much looking forward to that part.
The closer I got to the day I had Danica, the more anxious I was. In general. Getting past that day, making it to 33 weeks was a huge sigh of relief. And even though I knew it wasn't the safest to have him yet, mentally I was a lot more ready. And a lot more relaxed.
I got my last shot almost 2 weeks ago. Most people go within the first 2 weeks of their last shot. Getting to a week past it was okay. Now I'm just feeling annoyed.
Not to mention that I spent from the second the test was positive, I was told to 'take it easy' as much as possible. Now that I can function, it's not doing anything!
I had a bunch of really good hard contractions on Sunday night, but they were only every half hour and stopped at about 10pm. bummer. I was hoping it was the beginning.
Okay. So I'm ready. I'm mentally and emotionally ready to have this baby. I've been this way for a while. Apparently longer than I really should. It's starting to get frustrating. But yes, I know it's the best for him.
But physically. Ugh. I don't think I have had a single waking hour without pain since before I even found out I was pregnant. I've maybe had a handful of days that I could say I actually felt good. "Fine" for me right now is would be a pretty miserable day not pregnant. I'm tired, but I can't seem to get decent sleep (waking up in pain, having to pee, etc, etc) My back is killing and I go to the chiropractor but I can't be twisted at all since his head is so low, so he can only really do the top half of me. Which also means he can't do much to help my hip. My hip hurts the most when I take weight off of it, so every time I take a step, it feels like my whole leg is going to fall off. And the more I rest, the harder it is to walk when I get up. And I would love to just stay moving and get lots done, but there is so much pressure all the time from his big head. But apparently not enough to get me dilating enough.
Oh- and I have been having contractions sine the day before I hit 16 weeks. This is getting kind of old.
So while it's fun to have so many people rooting for me to make it to 39 or 40 weeks, I don't know if I can handle it. Honestly. I don't want to. I know I should be enjoying my last pregnancy. I've tried. I've prayed about it. I'm done. Every time he moves it hurts (which I know he's getting stronger and that happens, but there are stabbing pains with it most of the time too). I get horrible ripping pains on my lower left side when I sleep sometimes. I wish they hadn't told me that is where my placenta is. I have been so paranoid this whole time that my placenta is going to rupture again. And I'm tired of being in so. much. pain. all. the. time. I am looking forward to the lack of sleep and the craziness that is having a newborn- especially with a 2 and 4 year old! I want to hold my baby in my arms as I walk across the living room without wanting to cry with every step I take. I want to walk up the stairs without my belly hitting my legs on each one. I want to curl up and stretch my back when I need to. I am definitely ready to not be paranoid about a terrifying emergency all the time.
So while, yes, I am very excited to have another little one, right this second I am just really wanting to be done being pregnant. So please pray for me. Pray for patience. Oh man, do I need it. If you want, you can pray for little breaks from pain, even if it's just 5 minutes. And of course pray for a safe delivery. I would much prefer to have the placenta stay put until it's actually time for it to come out. Less risk for Csection, and less risk for our lives.
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| The scary skeleton and cutest ladybug EVER.
I always wanted to do this.
36 weeks and 1 day.
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Jesse: the big one eyed thing with the knife he always needs to stick in his pumpkins.
Mine: The tongue sticking out.
Alex: Giant nose!
Danica: super round features with crazy mouth.
Tristan: has a little ghost and "Tristan's 1st Halloween"
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